- A chick wearing something other than jeans steals focus. Frankly, it’s disrespectful to those hardworking community college dropouts who’ve decided to listlessly gyrate their sinewy bodies in front of slack-jawed strangers in exchange for cash. Insulting, really.
- A skirt or a dress says you’re not open to a lap dance. Candy’s doesn’t have the time to push up your petticoats to get in there. That cute floral a-line basically announces you’re taking up space preventing another patron from contributing to her tattoo-removal fund. Not cool.
- Jeans are too tight for wallets. Wearing jeans forces you to keep money in places other than your pocket (I suggest betwixt your boobies), so when you have to pay for a drink you’re graciously offering patrons two shows for the price of one.
- Jeans help prevent infection. Trust me: you want as little exposed flesh on a strip club seat as possible. Save lives: cover up those gams.
- To attract the fellas. If there’s one thing guys like, its something else. After a night of seeing awesome nakedness, a woman in a pair of sexy tight jeans is a nice change. Plus, if you play your cards right, maybe you’ll take those jeans off later thereby completing the great circle of stripper life.
- Comfort. The fact that you came to a strip club in the first place shows that you’re a cool chick. You might as well take the night off from style and go for feel – you deserve to slip into those dungarees.
* A friendly “mahalo” to my TG/TS/TV readers!
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